Jim Melloan offers this suggestion the next time you’re listening to TJB:
In the late ’60s, still in England, it became a favorite game for my sister and I to put on some Tijuana Brass and look out the window at pedestrians walking by. We would select one, and as the person walked down the street, we would imagine that this person was the star of his or her own TV show, and we were watching the credits and this was the theme song. We found this hilarious, and I bet it still is. If you live in a place where you can look out the window and see pedestrians walking by, I suggest you try it now.
I lost myself in this album cover for many hours, when it first arrived in the late seventies. Now it’s in a frame, lost in a box, tucked away in the basement, momentarily out of reach thanks to one too many moves and my wandering attention. But to be honest, that silver trumpet was always out of reach. I knew I’d never play like Maynard, I doubted I’d even own the brand of trumpet he played (and designed.) I like to imagine that this trumpet was plunged into ice to save it from melting after a concert.
I have to post this second James Morrison video because Youtube wouldn’t let me watch it without a jarring advertisement that WOULDN’T QUIT, no matter how much I shouted, or clicked around the ad, on the ad, or anywhere on the screen because I didn’t see an obvious killswitch and the BUY THIS USETHIS assault had my ears by the lobes, refusing to let go.
I was like the sweaty red-faced guy in the movie who punches a bomb’s keypad at random, hunting for the code that will kill the bomb, except my situation was worse because the movie bomb was still ticking and mine had already blown into a thousand jagged sound bites, shredding my ears with shrapnel.
So here I am, taking a deep breath, waiting for my ear drums to heal.
James Morrison — if that’s his real name, and not some alien garble impossible to pronounce with the human tongue — is inhuman. Or superhuman. I let out a grunt when I saw him at the piano. Come on. Give me a break. It’s hard on the ego of a so-so trumpet player/cartoonist to watch him play a trombone along with his trumpet, and to play it so well you can’t tell if he’s a trombone player doubling on the trumpet or vice versa. But now he’s at the piano. I know he plays drums. I’m pretty sure I’ve heard him play sax.
Is there an instrument he can’t play? Does he, finally, have a limit, like every other musician on this planet, when it comes time to solo?
Yes. Absolutely.
Without a doubt.
Most likely.
Possibly.
I haven’t seen him play a double-reed instrument. Nor a violin, guitar, bass or harp.
Mark Heath cartoons 